Little Gus: My Little Boy

When I was a little girl, I played with my dolls. I was the mother to my never aging plastic dolls. Life was predictable because it was my imaginary world that paved the way for my dolls. As I got older I grew apart from my little doll family. I became a teenager and I began to take care of real babies. I became a responsible babysitter for other people's children. It was a fun way to temporarily live between the world of make believe and the world of motherhood. Now I am a mother. I am responsible for another life other than my own. I have an invested interest in this little boy's future. I wake-up thinking of my son and I go to bed still processing thoughts about him.

Every decision I make has an impact on my son's life. I am now responsible for acting in his best interest for the next 18 years or so. My heart now has a stronger beat because of my little boy.

In the one month and three days of his life thus far, AJ has had vaccinations, colds, and more recently my little boy was circumcised yesterday. Every time his lower lip starts to quiver, my heart melts and my eyes tear. He is my little boy and I hurt when he hurts. It is the hardest part of being a mom.

I would never trade this experience for the world. My son is the light of my life. He has made me a mother and my husband a wonderful father. I honestly am grateful for the love and support from my husband. A lot of women have to 'train' or 'teach' their husbands how to be fathers; I was blessed to have a husband who wants to be involved in every aspect of our son's life...even the diapers.