My sweet Angel

Wow, no one could ever describe how it feels to fall in love with your child. Motherhood has been the greatest experience I have ever known. It is so amazing how the soul of a child could effect so many people. Of course everyone who meets Angus falls in love with him, but the joy he brings out of people is the greatest thing to witness.

I love watching people hold him and enjoy him. My mother is now a Nana and my brother is an uncle, my husband a father and I am a mother!!!! I can't wait to have more. I am head over heals in love with AJ, I am so thankful to have him in my life. I just want to be the best mother to him and I want him to have siblings that he can play with and enjoy his whole life.

Christmas was a lot of fun, the little guy was spoiled as expected! He is such a joy. Yes we skipped the newborn sized part of life and jumped into a 10 pound little man stage. He is all muscle and no fat (something that his mama is working toward for herself!) he is able to hold his head up and to push himself up on you. Our little muscle man can stand on your belly, as he pushes our gas!

Justin has been an amazing husband and father. We are going to miss him when he goes back to work next week. He was able to be home for three and a half weeks as Angus came into our lives.

The thing we are working on now is pumping, I am breastfeeding Angus but as a big boy he eats often and right now we are all sick with colds from AJ's first doctor's visit. So sleep is something we are all lacking. I know there are a lot of studies that say to wait 6 weeks before introducing bottles to the baby, but luckily my sons is a sucky boy. He tried to latch on to my mother's face last week! Anyway he is doing well with breast and bottle.

I will try my best to keep you all updated on at least a weekly basis, being a mom as most of you know is the busiest job and the best job ever!

Intoducing Our Little Angel

Eight days ago tonight, I gave birth to my son, Angus Justin St. Pierre (A.J). What a journey this has been, he is so perfect I can't believe he is ours. When I think back to last Monday when my contractions started, I am so amazed at how quickly time has flown bye.

I have had a pretty easy pregnancy compared to many people, however the delivery was the scariest experience of my life. The morning of Monday December 13th at 7:15, I had noticed that I had bright red blood, not a lot but enough for me to go once again to the hospital. I called the nurses to give them a heads up that I was on my way again. My contractions started as we were on our way to the hospital, that whole time I was praying that I did not have to do the walk of shame, as I had been sent home twice before. I was chanting "third time's a charm, third time's a charm...". Finally we arrived, the weather was mild but there was snow and ice on the ground. As I was crossing the street from the parking lot into the entrance I stepped on a piece of ice during a contraction and slipped and landed on my right knee. "superstar!!" Now my non-frumpy soon-to-be mommy look went from nice to covered in mud. It look as if my husband was helping a pregnant street person into the hospital. Anyway, worse things could have happened, I know.

When we arrived in the birthing centre, I met with the nurses that I had become familiar with. Once again I was 3cms, I couldn't believe it. I said to them in my nicest voice possible " I'm 4 days overdue, please. please induce me!!" Of course the answer was 'no we'll have to wait and see'.  Now I have never been bone protruding thin since high school but I was now tipping and breaking the scales at 192.5 lbs. I'm 5'6" this kid was stretching me to the max. So we waited, I was hooked up to the machines and finally around 10:00 am the nurse checked on me again and I was 4 cms! Thank God, they can't send me home now! Justin called my mother gave her my order for pies, 1 Boston Cream for the nurses and 1 Apple Crisp for me once I delivered the baby.

So, I was admitted and the day and contractions continued. Luckily my doctor was staff that day so I didn't have to explain my pregnancy experience again. However this turned out to be bad luck instead of good. My doctor had never sent me for my 32 & 34 week ultrasounds because she insisted that they were not necessary. Each time I asked her in my previous appointments about the expected weight of my baby, she would say "oh normal size, like 7 lbs".

One of the nurses had suggested that I have an ultrasound while I was being admitted. That suggestion would have paid off however it was vetoed by my doctor. I was in active labour for 14 1/2 hours. I tried every position possible that the nurses suggested, birthing ball, slow dancing with my husband ( I couldn't hold my bladder), lying on my sides ( that didn't work I puked all over Justin) and finally crouch over the bed on all fours, just then a group of carolers strolled by singing Christmas songs (that was worse than the pain).

I did not have an epidural because the pain was something felt I could handle. The woman across the hall from me was whaling (like in some Greek Tragedy) she was only 4cms but she insisted on a drug free birth, I was now 8 and not saying more than "ow, ow, ow" every contraction. Once the nurses told me about her dramatics I started chanting "drug her, drug her!!"

However when I was 9cms dilated and my baby had not dropped to where he should be the doctor strongly suggested that I take the epidural so that it would relax my muscles and help the baby pass through. Even though my contractions were at their strongest point I had to bend to a fetal position, stop pushing and stay still while having a needle in my back. (Easier said then done!)

One Week Old!

I was pushing for 3 1/2 hours, there were now 2 doctors and 4 nurses trying to deliver my son. Then the box of tricks came out, they had tried vacuum extraction three times unsuccessfully, then finally forceps.  My God the pain was worse then anything I have ever known. 10:43 pm my son Angus Justin St.Pierre was born 10 lbs 8oz.  If I had the choice, I would have opted for a c-section. The recovery is going to be a long road but it is worth having my son finally in my arms.

Coming out of Hiding

It is December 12th and I have yet to give birth to my little man. The last few days have been quite the experience. I saw my doctor last Wednesday who said that I would definitely be in labour before the weekend. Now this is the third week in a row that this prediction has been made by her. I'm beginning to think she has a hard time with picking lottery numbers as well. It is also the second week in a row that she has tried to help me naturally induce by attempting to lightly strip my membrane. But the reason that I have not been online is because of her last piece of magic and great advice... CASTOR OIL!!! Now I have always avoided this ridiculous tactic but when you've tried EVERYTHING else, desperation sinks in and I listened to my doctor. That was Wednesday morning, I could barely walk that night and felt horrible. I have been in pain since day one of my pregnancy due to the baby's position on my sciatic nerve, I know many women have been through worse which is why I usually never blog about my pain but oh lord Wednesday brought pain up to a new level for me.

On the bright side I know about 90% of the nursing staff on both day and night shifts at the hospital that I will one day birth my son. I have been on the phone with these amazing women and I had to visit the hospital Thursday morning as well as Friday due to Wednesday's stupidity. My son is healthy and strong which makes me so happy, but I would love to hold him in my arms.

The hardest thing is that I am in pain from the weight that I am carrying, I can not remember when I was last comfortable. Luckily the latest they will let me wait is Wednesday/Thursday. Since the doctor at the hospital knows I have tried everything his suggestion on Friday was for me to do absolutely nothing.  Oh the other part to Friday was that I realized that the more kids you have the more worries you have. My brother was sent to a hospital on the other side of Montreal for severe food poisoning and was hoping that I would not find out so that he didn't 'steal my thunder'. Can you imagine my poor mother at work waiting by the phone to find out how her kids were doing as we were both under observation in hospitals half an hour away from each other at the same time.

Anyway all that to say I am still waiting and just trying to grin and bear it. I can not stretch any further as I will fall forward from the weight.  Here's a picture from Thursday's hour outdoor walk before our 3 hour mall walk, all after the first hospital visit.  

Two Days...TODAY!!!!!!

The last 48 hours has brought A LOT of snow. So much snow that I have people calling me to request that I do not have the baby in this crazy weather. Let me just say that anyone who knows me, knows that I am a drama mama. If I have to call the firemen to come over to get me to the hospital, I will do so, after I put on some make-up of course. I am purposely making random messes in my house so that I can clean them up. I think I have stage one cabin fever...jumping in the snow and making snow angels looks so appealing, if I had someone to pull me up I would definitely be outside in the yard looking like a crazy penguin.

One of my good friends and mommy mentor stopped by last night to lend us her beautiful bassinet that she had used for all four of her kids. It is a classic, Disney-perfect piece of furniture that is so special and warm. You can feel the memories and imagine your own as you stare at it. Once again Angus has been spoiled by the love of others; what a lucky boy.

I have been watching Christmas movies and any baby show that I can find. I feel that I am addicted to crying, really why else would I do this to myself. I used to be extremely paranoid about every little unknown that could happen with pregnancy, and honestly I still am not 100% settled but I have to just leave it up to my higher power to get me through this last leg of the race. It is so hard for some one like me to relax and let go of control. (yes I have control issues, but if you know me, you knew that!)

I have experienced pre-labour and have actually thought that I was finally getting some where but that was last week and I am still two people today. I am enjoying this alone time with my son for now but I would enjoy it if I could put him in his daddy's arms from time to time. My bed has turned into a collection of pillows, yes I have the wonderful preggo-body pillow but I am to the point where I have to turn from side to side because the extra weight on my joints hurts so much, all that to say lots of pillows are in my bed...poor Justin.

I never thought that I would miss working out but what I would give to be able to do crunches again or just to touch my toes with out holding my breath. Two days are left until my due date. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and you can bet that I will be bribing her to set me free!! AJ has loads of outfits that he needs to wear, so the sooner I can get him in them the better. I'm being realistic, this child of mine is not going to be a low-birth weight baby, all of his newborn and 0-3 months outfits might not even fit.

If the bribing doesn't work, I will be blogging with an update :)

The Christmas Tree Is Up and I'm Waiting For My Angel

Where did November go? Don't get me wrong, I am very happy to welcome December but I was sure that November had just started. Oh well, the days are passing quickly.

My new state of mind is slowly sinking in. I am happy, healthy and waiting for my little prince to arrive. Although I found myself whining to my husband about my sore hips, pancake butt, hot dog fingers and my massive moon face; I did have to say that I have been blessed because my feet are still size 8 and I do not suffer from cankles (fat ankles). Things can always be worse, I am honoured to be experiencing the most amazing miracle life has to offer.

I keep a lamp on in Angus' nursery during the evenings just so that I can picture the love and happiness that will be overflowing A.J while he naps. The most touching aspect of my pregnancy has been how much love and generosity people have shared with Justin and I as we prepare for our first born son. It's hard to be negative when you're surrounded by so much positive. There are many people who are not as fortunate and we feel that it is so important for A.J to know how lucky he really is.


I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone for checking in to my blog to see how we are doing. I am forever grateful for the beautiful comments and feedback we have received. The time you have taken out of your life to check on us is really appreciated. I will keep posting as A.J arrives and will post pictures as they come. But from the bottom of our hearts thank you for being you and helping me through this amazing ride. Christmas will never be the same, I can't imagine a greater gift.

A Better State of Mind

Okay so a new week has begun and my little angel is still enjoying his bachelor pad in my belly. I have about ten days left until my due date and my patience has turned into neurotic madness.

The last couple of weeks I have had people ask me how far overdue I am or gawk in amazement when they see my massive belly. I am getting drive-by phone calls that last a few seconds from people, it's all " How are you?? Any contractions?? Did your water break?? No okay bye. Take care"

Honestly if I were in labour, which I pray for every night and day, do you think I would be home waiting for people to call me?! What if I said yes??? Oh I'm so happy you called, yes I am in labour, what can I do for you?? I have become a birthing center. The only thing that matters is if I am in labour. I remember when phone calls were like "Hi how are you? Do you want to go for coffee? Hey let's go shopping!" Nope I have not heard that in a long time.

Not only am I a birthing center, I am a hot potato. It's not just drive-by phone calls, I have many people who are staying as far away from me as possible just in-case I go into labour while they are around me. Thanks a bunch y'all. Although I have to say T.J is polar opposite, my brother came over the other night and bought a camcorder before his visit just hoping that he could document our trip to the hospital. Poor guy ended up making a commentary film about how he feels we would act in the event of labour. 

So now that everyone is driving me crazy with their anxious energy, as if they've carried this guy for nine months, I have decided to calm down. My son seems to be like his mother, last minute, deadline oriented. I have to accept that he will come when he feels that he is ready. I guess I have to learn to accept that now before pushing him into sports anyway. When he decides to arrive I will be just as happy tomorrow as I would have been yesterday.

I'm going to look at these next few days as if he knows how much shopping I have left to do and he just wants to make sure I can wrap my gifts without interference. (My son is so thoughtful!!)

Happy Thanksgiving

Well the family is on alert. I went to the doctor's office today and I am 2 centimeters dilated. I know that means next to nothing but the doctor has a feeling that I will not make it to next week. (I hope she's right!) I am so excited and I am looking forward to holding my little buddy soon. Justin is watching me like I am the lotto max numbers about to drop.

I am so happy that things have worked out the way they have. I could not have picked a better husband and partner. Anyone who has met Justin knows he's a great guy, I have been in his arms for nine years and I can't wait to watch him become a daddy. Although these past nine months have been trying at times, I have always had my rock to lean on. Not many men want to be with their wives during their crazy emotional moments, but he has always been there to play with my hair and comfort me. Having a baby is the greatest gift from God and it is also the greatest gift we can mutually share.

Today is Thanksgiving and Lord knows I am thankful for many things, most of all is my family and friends. I know that if something were to happen to me, my husband and child will be taken care of by wonderful people.  Well as promised I will keep you all posted on little Gus' progress. Hopefully I will have a Thanksgiving baby...that translates to a Grey Cup baby in Canadian lingo. (It's our Superbowl this weekend!)

Two Weeks and Two Days Left

I have been going crazy wondering when I will finally get to meet my precious little boy. It's funny because when I was a little girl, I was searching the house for Christmas presents around this time of year. However, no matter how many times I say a prayer or run around the house, this gift has a mind of his own.

I am so anxious I can hardly think straight. Every morning I wake up wondering if my Christmas angel will arrive today. Justin and I have everything ready, my bags are in the car, the baby has a closet and dresser full of clothes. Everything is washed and waiting. The baby monitor works and is on just incase we forget to turn it on when he arrives. The bassinet is beside our bed, the diaper bag is packed, the thank you notes are 90% done.

I know I should try to focus on other things like finishing my Christmas shopping and freezing homemade dinners, but I have a huge belly in my way. This weekend is Thanksgiving in the US, I remember being at work last year feeling so sad that I was away from my American family. Talking on the phone to the whole table wasn't enough, I promised myself I would go down this year for the holiday. Well turns out I will be having turkey tacos chez moi this year. I have a lot to be thankful for it really doesn't matter where I celebrate.

When you take time to look back at where your life has taken you, it is almost too amazing to comprehend. I am going to be a mother...I would have never placed a bet on that when I was a teenager. I know God has a plan for everyone and no matter how hard you try to plan out your own life, you just have to rely on the fact that someone somewhere is watching out for you. When I think back on my hopes and prayers when I was an adolescent it makes me laugh more than anything. Things like "Dear God please have so-and-so ask me out....please let me marry Prince William....please tell my mom to let me get a turtle tattoo...etc" Moments like that reminds me of one of my favorite Garth Brooks songs: "Unanswered Prayers" the refrain was "sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers, you never know when you're talking to the man upstairs. Just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care..." Well I am so thankful that many of these prayers did not get answered: so-and-so turned out to be gay, Prince William has proven he knows how to keep a girl hanging and any tattoo would be an indescribable blob on this belly.

Last song reference for today. One of my favorite Canadian Country bands is a husband and wife duo, The Wilsons. They have three kids and I loved watching their reality show about how they attempt to balance their career and family life. One of the songs that they wrote was for their little girl that they had adopted, at the time they wrote the song they did not know if the baby would be a boy or girl. I urge you to look up the song with kleenex but here are some of the lyrics to marinate on. The song is titled "Mine All Mine"

WE HAVEN’T MET, BUT I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE
WAITING FOR ME
AND SOMEDAY SOMEWHERE I’LL SEE YOUR SWEET FACE
I’M NOT GIVING UP, I KNOW IT’LL HAPPEN WHEN IT’S MEANT TO BE
AND ALL I'VE GOTTA DO IS HAVE SOME FAITH 

CHORUS:

‘CAUSE WHEN YOU’RE MINE ALL MINE I’LL HOLD YOU BABY I WON’T EVER LET YOU GO WHEN THE LONG HARD SEARCH IS OVER BABY I WILL LOVE YOU HEART AND SOUL TIL THE END OF TIME WHEN YOU’RE MINE ALL MINE 

I’LL BE YOUR STRENGTH, I’LL BE YOUR SHELTER
I’LL KEEP YOU SAFE
YOU’LL LIGHT UP MY WHOLE LIFE WITH JUST YOUR SMILE
AND YOU’LL MAKE ME MELT, YOU’LL MAKE THE WORLD STOP
WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME
AND YOU’LL MAKE EVERY TEAR I CRIED WORTHWHILE 

I think every expectant mother, father and family feels this way. I can't wait to hold my little Gus.

Appreciating life's gifts

Children are such a wonderful gift and being a part of a child's life is a blessing in itself. I am fortunate to have been involved with many kids and teens through out my life. Playing with kids has been my way of relaxing for most of my adult life. The smiles, the giggles and the joy that I get to feel as these angels share moments of their lives with me has been my most treasured life experiences.

On our way home this afternoon, Justin and I were listening to a talk show on the radio. The discussion was about family dinner and how much it means to everyone involved. They were commenting on the bonding experience you share as you interact with your children around the dinner table. As simple as this concept maybe to some it was clear through the callers reactions that sit-down dinners are on the endangered species list. This sparked a discussion between Justin and I about how we would like to raise our family.

The ideas were flowing and the host on the show mentioned the issue of letting kids invite friends to the table. I, for one, loved having my friends break bread with my family. Many of them became like family and started to call my mom, mom instead of Ms. Harris or Wendy. That was a tradition passed down by my maternal grandmother, Nanny, who always had a spot for the neighborhood at her table. No joke I still have people coming up to me telling me stories of eating at my Nanny's house in the hallway because the priests, teachers and most of the students were all at her house for lunch and dinner. (She lived across the street from my mother's school and had an open door policy when meal time came around)

Justin had a different experience, he was that little boy going over to his friend's house for dinner. He wanted to call the radio show to say that for every family who opens the door to invite someone for supper, they are shaping that child in very powerful and positive way. He has always spoke of his neighbour's generosity with such love and appreciation, he would not be the same person he is today without being welcomed into such a loving home. This is what we want for our kids. A place where they can invite their friends to be a part of our family traditions. For Justin it's his way of paying forward his amazing experience.

It takes a village to raise a child...

This past weekend I had another beautiful baby shower filled with amazing people. The love that awaits my little munchkin is mind blowing. I was raised with many loving people in my life and it is a tradition and a gift that I want to pass on to my son. One of my favorite sayings is that "it takes a village to raise a child". I have been blessed to have had many smart, caring and generous people influence my life. I can only imagine the wonderful world of beautiful souls that A.J will soon be encountering.

One of the things that Justin and I continually talk about is our faith. We tend to lean more to the spiritual path, than that of a religious perspective. We believe in a higher power and that there is a plan for everyone. Now that we are going to be responsible for a little soul, we have decided to clarify our values and beliefs. Until we come across a defined belief system to which we can identify and follow, we feel it is important to teach, love and equality above all things.

I was brought up knowing that everyone is equal, not one person is better than the next. I have learned not to give my life meaning by demeaning others. Justin and I really want our son to grow up knowing many religions and perspectives on life, and though he may not agree with them he must respect them. Respect for people's opinions and beliefs have been something that many of us have struggled with but for me it's because I sometimes change the word respect to accept and there is where my struggle lies. I just have to remind myself that respect does not mean to accept and then I can disarm my defense system.

Honesty is another thing that I value. I'm a stickler for staying true to my word. I want my son to treat the words that he expresses with thought and power. Obviously this will come later in life, but can you imagine if people stopped for a moment before they spoke to rehearse their thoughts and responses? Of course it would make a casual discourse last longer but it would be more productive and clearer to all parties involved.     

There are so many thing we can't wait to teach him. There are so many things that he will have to learn for himself. I just can't wait to have my little buddy call me mommy. That will be one of many thrilling days awaiting us.

What a gift

This morning Justin and I did a photo shoot to capture our last month as family of two. We had a blast dressing up and posing. The real treat was the 45 minutes of nothing to think about but each other and our soon-to-arrive, son. I realized today that I don't often look into Justin's eyes, I don't know why that is. Maybe it is because I have to have something to stand on to stare comfortably but it really is worth the effort. His loving eyes are one of many things I love about him. I can't wait for A.J to feel the love his daddy has for him through those sparkling hazel eyes.

Later today, I decided to open up some of the keepsake gifts that we had received for A.J's first moments. I figured I should start filling in the information that I can answer now because my hands maybe occupied when my little guy arrives. One of the books had a section where it asked:"When did you know you were expecting?... What was Mommy's reaction?... What was Daddy's reaction?".  At first I thought, "Geez it's too bad I can't insert the link to my blog!!" But re-telling our story honestly gives me goosebumps.

I'm now in my ninth month and I still can't believe we are having a baby. This experience has been the greatest joy for both Justin and I. Who would have thought that nine years ago those two wild camp counselors, who had no idea what they wanted out of life, would end up happily married with their dream jobs, expecting life's most amazing miracle.

Christmas is approaching and the list of things to do grows. However, this year Justin and I have the best gift on it's way. What more can we ask for?! My mother had said to me the other day "You know, it (Christmas) won't be fun if you have nothing to unwrap." My response was: "Are you kidding me?! I will be unwrapping diapers, that's the best gift ever!"  

A Day to Remeber

Happy Remembrance Day/ Veteran's Day. This day means a lot to me for so many reasons. I am a proud daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter of War Vets. My father served in the American Military during the Vietnam War, my maternal grandfather was a gunner for Canada in the Second World War and his father served in the First World War.

I can not imagine saying goodbye to my son if he were to serve in the Armed Forces. My maternal grandfather, Angus (Popa), was one of six sons in his family who headed off to serve in the Second World War. He and his five brothers all went overseas and by the grace of God, they all made it back home safely. How his mother coped, is beyond me. Knowing that six of her nine children were in a foreign land fighting for the freedom of people of whom they had never met. My grandfather even lied about his age so that he could join his older brothers. What kind of strength did people have back then?! Before Skype, email, even before every home had a phone. How could a mother say goodbye??? My poor son will have a crazy over-protective nutcase for a mother. If he wants to sign-up for the military, then he'll have to get used to his mother serving with him. (more like a human shield) 

I am so proud of our veterans and thankful for their sacrifices. Where would we be without them? My grandfather, Angus, is such an amazing man. He has been a great role model and he has impacted my life in many ways. I am so thankful to have such an amazing man live down the road from me and at the age of 88 years young, he always has time for me. He is the biggest cheerleader for my son, after all he is named after him. A.J will be the first great-grandchild and he is already spoiled, almost as much as me, the only granddaughter :) I can't wait to bring A.J over to Popa's house for coffee and cards. My grandfather is hoping to show the baby off to all of the ladies in his building. What a guy!! I could not have wished for a better great-grandfather for my son. He will definitely know his family tree and how lucky he is to have ancestors who fought for his freedoms.

I have had a Billy Ray Cyrus song stuck in my head all day; it was a slogan that actually was on my grandfather's license plate for a while. It was : All gave some, some gave all... It really hits at the heart strings. I don't support war but I do support our troops and wish them a safe return.

The faster I go, the slower I am...

So yesterday was a crazy nesting day. Today will be a little more relaxed. I'm still dusting, vacuuming and mopping but I did tackled a big part of the condo last night. This afternoon is the first of day of my guests stopping bye. It's the ever so awesome brother of mine. I am so fortunate to have a big brother like T.J. He's been my support and best friend since birth. He also was my Maid of Honor, well Man of Honor.

T.J and Justin are close which makes my life a lot easier, they are true brothers. It's so awesome to see them interact and hangout. They always help each other out, and I am sure most of our home projects would still be in boxes if it weren't for T.J helping Justin put everything together and installing them.

The baby is going to have a great uncle, I couldn't ask for anything more. You can see T's excitement and I am sure it will be awhile before Uncle T.J leaves the baby. It's a good thing we bought a new sofa-bed with lots of sheets for our overnight visitors. 

I am almost done catching up with my to-do list. The list seems to get longer, but I'm not going to exhaust myself. Hopefully I will get to the point where I can sit down and not add to my list. However until then, I'm grabbing the trusty Swifter and skipping around my home like a dust fairy...humor is everything in life.

Thankful

I just love weekends. I have been trying to organize my son's room ever since we moved into our home in July. It seems like an eternity has passed but thanks to my mother yesterday, the nursery is 95% done. Thank God for mothers.

The day before my mother's visit, my cousin had dropped of a large Rubbermaid bin full of clothes for my little boy. These clothes were handed down by a friend of hers to us. I am still in awe of how lucky we are to be receiving such wonderful gifts from people. The sizes ranged from newborn to 24 months. The shoes are too adorable and there was a full tuxedo among the treasures.

I am so excited to play dress-up with my little guy. It's so crazy to look at his room, he has got so much waiting for him. I keep trying to imagine what he will look like. Will he have a natural tan?? Will he have Justin's eyes?? We know he has my nose...finally someone in my family with my nose :) 

I am going to miss the rib kicks and the late night flips, but I can't wait to hold him. Tonight I finally put in my Prenatal Yoga DVD. I really should have started the yoga sooner. Oh well better late than never. I had a really peaceful day and a relaxing night. Tomorrow the nesting-crazy-lady will be back with the Windex, Vim and scrub brush in hand. I have a few visitors stopping by through out the week so I need to get back to my home-maker crazy-self. Until tomorrow comes, I will be chilling out for the rest of tonight with my Buddha belly.  

Saturday Morning Pancakes

One of my favorite traditions that my husband and I have been enjoying for years, are Saturday Morning Pancakes. It usually means whatever time we wake up and roll out of bed, we eventually make it to the kitchen to make pancakes. It's something I know we can carry on with children however, the quiet, sleeping-in aspects will be missing for many years to come.

This morning my little bundle of joy thought I should wake up at 3:00am and wouldn't let me lie down until sometime after 4:00am. I can't wait to have him in my arms rather than in my belly! My husband, Justin thought it was cute that he could feel A.J's hiccups at 8:00 this morning. The first few times I did think that the prenatal hiccups were cute, however now hiccups equal more trips to the washroom.

Oh boy the to-do list is a long one this weekend. I better start writing it out or else my brain disease known as baby brain, may take over and I will be lost! I think I'll have one more pancake as I make my list, I can multitask...I think!?

Looking Back

As I was going through the mountain of baby clothes and baby gear, I came across my journal that I had from the day we decided to start a family. It's funny to look at because I remember having it on my night stand and writing loving thoughts of hopes and dreams (in the beginning!).

Well actually, we decided we wanted to try to start a family last August (2009). I had always thought that becoming pregnant might be hard for me maybe even impossible, but it was something worth trying. Justin and I tend to worry about everything so we wanted to make sure we had a bit of solid foundation before we jumped into the world of babies.

Anyway back to this journal, you can see the frustration increase as the months passed. I am sure the stock market had a large spike because of all of the home pregnancy tests I had bought during this time. The journal starts with a message to our future offspring with a list of names that we had thought of. The second and third month you can see that I was trying to be positive, "well this is not our month but there is always next month...". Then as the fifth month came along there were no more messages, just dates of my menstrual cycle. Eventually the book was put in a drawer and ignored.

Seven months after our decision to try, it was time for my annual doctor's appointment. Justin came along with me so that we could discuss our lack of success with my doctor. Although I like my doctor, I was not happy that she told us to wait and see. Normally if it takes longer than a year then you can explore other options...A year?! Unfortunately patience is something I need to work on :) However unbeknownst to the three of us in the doctor's office, I was already a week into my pregnancy. Weeks passed and I was trying hard to keep a positive outlook, I know there are worse things in life. (Note from Justin : He really enjoyed the practice!...men)  

April 16th 2010 was a day to remember. After two of my childhood friends just had their first little additions a few weeks before, I had noticed that my buddy, Mother Nature, hadn't arrived with her monthly reminder of my failed attempts. I also was convinced that I was sleep walking into the street and having trucks run over my chest as my breasts were so sore and I couldn't explain why. So as I was out shopping on that beautiful Friday afternoon, I really had to use the washroom but before I did that I thought I should run into the drugstore and pick up another pregnancy test. If I had to use a public washroom I might as well have something to look forward to after. So I did the test and put it in a ziploc bag in my purse and went to the card store. ( Of course I washed my hands people, I am a germ-aphob)

The first thing that caught my eye in the card store was a book called "My Pregnancy Journal",  I froze. I quickly took deep breathe and opened my purse, there were two lines on the test, pregnant. I started to shake and I completely forgot who's birthday I needed a card for. All I could think of was I need to do another test but just in case this is true, I should get a card to tell Justin. I couldn't find a "hey honey we're pregnant card" so I chose a 'congrats on your success' card as this was the first day of his new promotion at work. Then I bought a small gray monkey as the other baby items were either pink or blue. As soon as I checked out of the store, I drove to my mother's house down the road drinking every water bottle I could find in the car, so when I got there I was going to take the second test. (Good thing I bought a two for one pregnancy test package!)

At my mother's house I rushed in to take the second test. It was positive, I went crazy! No one was home and I couldn't tell anyone before telling Justin. The anxiety was killing me so I left a message for my therapist on his machine, he had to keep it secret and I had to tell someone! When Justin met me at my mother's house, I had a camera hidden and on record. I got the whole thing on tape! The first words out of my dear husband's mouth were "baby? we're having a baby? Oh my God mortgage? What about my man room? no man room?!"

Now he's excited that his man room is for our little man. But it's so funny taking a look back into the past and seeing how much has changed. Now we look forward to meeting our son. I can't wait to tie my shoes all by myself again :)

Getting Ready

I am currently 35 weeks into my pregnancy and ironically there are 35 days left until D-Day. I am so excited to meet my little buddy who has been kicking my ribs for the last few months. My husband Justin and I are taking turns guessing about what our son will look like. Who will he take after? Who's hair will he be cursed with... Today I am trying to get all of the laundry done so little Angus (A.J) will have some clean clothes to wear. I can't believe we're having a baby! Justin and I have been together for a bit over 9 years now and married for 4 great years. This is the biggest and most exciting step we have encountered in our relationship. I am off of work now (thank goodness) so all I have to focus on is mastering cookie recipes, preparing for the big day and lots of doctor visits. I am feeling pretty good right now, heavy, sore, slow and tired but it's all worth it. One thing I need to do is pop in my Prenatal Yoga DVD.

Listen to Baby time